The Joy of Poo

me in a dung heap, oh yes.

Yes, we should all be getting our [gloved] hands on some of this fabulous stuff and churning it into the soil in which we shall be growing our veg.  Manure fills the ground with nutrients and makes your plants very, very happy indeed.  In turn, that means that you will be very, very happy when your pumpkins are the size of a small child.  Hurrah for poo.

how to get the poo that you want

HORSE DUNG
I've been to get some free manure today from my friend who owns horses.  More often than not, horse-owners have a stinking abundance of manure which they will gladly give away for free, or very very cheaply.  Try asking on Facebook, looking in Freegle (I've seen people posting 'offer: manure' recently] or the Admag/ your local advertising paper.

get the moist and warm stuff from the bottom of the dung heap

Failing that, find a horse owner, march right up to their rosy-cheeked face and politely ask them if they've got any spare horse droppings which you can bag.  You'll want the nicely rotted stuff from the bottom of the dung heap.

CHICKEN/ POULTRY
Poultry plop is used vastly in growing things - it's usually in a concentrated powder or granule form (Wilkinsons do a pretty cheap and effective version). 

OTHER POO
Got a pet chinchilla? Guinea pig? Rabbit?  Collect their droppings and mix them with a bit of sawdust, leave it to rot for a little while and then mix with wild abandon into your garden. Voila!

So, to wrap up: If you're not only windowsill gardening and you've got soil which you're going to be planting in, get some manure and churn it into the ground.  Simple and effective.